Rest

I came across this image on Facebook, with the above description.

I see this little bird being as content to stop moving as he was when he was feverishly working on flittering from flower to flower, eating and playing his role in nature. I imagined that this bird held no guilt for resting.

I tended to feel guilty for not moving, my mind often told me that there is something that has to be accomplished while I was resting. Usually, laundry is in the washing machine while I am laying on the couch, or while sitting, I must read up about the newest iteration of old oppressive policies so that I can best be prepared in my personal and professional life.

As I have become increasingly comfortable with more down time, Randy expressed his amusement of the significant decrease in work hours "full time" work is here for me compared to my work in the US. Even "part time" work for many of my US colleagues consist of more hours than I work here. More time for rest and relaxation. And while I am becoming more involved in policy changes at work and educating myself more about the systems of power here in this new country, I have not been constantly living as a person in existential danger.

Years ago I started exercising because I knew that moving my body and becoming strong would help me to better weather my demanding job. I know now that rest is also as critically important. The harms of overworking for months at a time are not easily reversed by a few days of vacation a year. Often it takes some time to start to wind down before you can even get into rejuvenation. Balance is better than always playing catch up.

The rest days make the workdays possible.

"Life is all about balance. You don't always need to be getting stuff done. Sometimes it's perfectly okay, and absolutely necessary, to shut down, kick back, and do nothing" ----Lori Deschene

“When you have balance in your life, work becomes an entirely different experience. There is a passion that moves you to a whole new level of fulfillment and gratitude, and that's when you can do your best, for yourself and for others.”—Cara Delevingne

I have days at work that are downright stressful, but I am given time to reflect and regroup. I can come back and be fresh for the next patient who needs my smile. When I tune into the news, I am not constantly bombarded with news of policies and laws bent on stripping me of my rights or endangering myself or my children. I do not feel like a targeted creature here in New Zealand. I can literally sleep better at night.

It is very simple to say to people that they need more rest or more balance. Most people would love to have more time away from work and stress and more opportunities to enjoy the fruits of their labors. One cannot simply stop moving when bills won't be paid and jobs would be lost. I live in the gratitude that I have found a system in which I can still meet my and my family's needs and get the balance that I need. It is also no easy for everyone to leave an environment that is toxic to them. I am not ashamed for the privilege that years of sacrifice and discipline has afforded me now.

I used to be angry and sad that I had to move to the other side of the world to find that but I am now just filled with gratitude that such a place does exist for me. No resentment and no regrets here.

RANDY'S THOUGHTS-------------

So let me begin by setting the scene for the progress that my wife has made in her mission to find peace. Ever since I 1st meet Dionne back in 2005 she had little time for "fun" or "Relaxation" it was always a question of what purpose does this action have in my plan and in my life. This continued on through medical school and residency, never stopping to take a break or just relax. I was and always have been in awe of this character trait of my wife. Life for her was never in a "today was a great day" mood but a "what have I done today that will make my life better in the next 3 to 5 years" kind of attitude. This might seem exhausting, but it is just how she "was/is" wired. It has been my goal nah, my job, to make sure she slows down and enjoys her life. For years it has been a battle to pull her away from medical education, medical activism, political education, political activism, financial education, youth education, youth activism, etc, etc..... I think you get my point. There was always something more important than Dionne to Dionne lol. I have seen Dionne at her strongest and her weakest, this is why I have always advocated for her to try and take time for herself. Now finally after a year of being here in New Zealand I find myself smiling and tell my wife I am so happy she can sit down and just BE. There is a saying that "You cannot pour from an empty cup" which is an advocate for selfcare, not a selfish act. How can you pour out your heart and soul into your children, husband, work, activism and hell even passion project if you are on empty? The answer is you can't well at least not for long. I believe we have found this balance in our new home and we as a family are pouring more into our cups than the world is taking away from us on a daily basis and man let me tell you THAT is a feeling you want for your family to have.