Balance Found

At least once a week I tell Randy that I cannot believe this is now my life. Our life. Knowing that that which feeds my soul, what I missed most about leaving Trinidad as an adolescent, is now within easy reach is often overwhelming.

In the US, living on the coasts was usually extremely expensive, or the beaches so commercialized or privatized that locals didn't have easy access to it or it was a long drive away from affordable housing. Or, for me, located in regions too racist to even be worth traveling through further more visiting. I was landlocked and would often feel claustrophobic. The ocean would always call me and once Randy and I had more money, we started to make trips to Hawaii to satisfy my need to see, smell and be immersed in a beautiful ocean setting. Such a trip was expensive and time consuming and usually I was so overworked that the relatively short trip did not produce long lasting benefits. So, please understand why it is life changing for me to be able to drive less than 10 minutes from my house to multiple different gorgeous beaches and to see the beautiful ocean as I drive around my town for mundane activities such as grocery shopping or picking the kids up from school.

Every time I explore a new beach, every time I smell the sea air and watch and listen to the waves crashing against the sand, I feel a calm come over me and a sense of peace wash over me. The beaches here have not been overcrowded. Usually I try to get to a beach at least once per weekend.

Today, on a Friday afternoon after a busy day at work, I came with my beach chair, a hat and an umbrella (and sunscreen) in case I need more shade, and I sit, also seeing other people coming for some fresh air after work. Beautiful music playing in my ear buds, the wind whipping around, the smell of salt sea air and watching the waves coming in from low tide becoming higher and higher put me in the best mood. The ocean has so many dynamic shades of blue and turquoise. Simply looking at it is mesmerizing. Wading through the water, warm due to how shallow it was, feeling the silky sand beneath my feet also relaxed me.

After a full day in the OR, I went home feeling invigorated and in a great mood, able to goof off with the kids and listen to how their day went at school. There is so much to discover in this beautiful country of Aotearoa, and I intend to explore as much as I can. Just over a week ago, we did a long weekend trip up north to Matakana and Omaha beach and it was a glorious end to the children's summer break, but it is so comforting and surreal to know that if I am not able to take epic vacations, I can still, on a daily basis, experience that which I would have paid thousands to have only once a year before.

When you have that regular release, you can withstand the stresses of the responsibilities of life. The key is to find a life that does not need big vacations. The key is to find a balance. It also helps to not be inundated on a regular basis by micro and macroaggressions and regular signs that your own government is trying to harm you........... There is that too.