But Why Though?- Part One

Picture this- years of hard work and sacrifice to become a board certified OB/GYN. Years of struggle to become a citizen of the United States. Years of delayed gratification and overcoming the lack of generational wealth that most of my counterparts were able to stand upon. Finally buying our first house. It was to be our forever home. Great location, Great school district, so I thought. Nice neighbors. The American dream by most immigrant standards, achieved.

But, was it, though? Did I mention that I am a Black woman in America? Paying closer attention I was able to clearly see that the American dream was not nearly good enough.

My house is still beautiful- >4500 square feet of more luxury than I or Randy had ever lived in or owned before in our lives. Unfortunately that beautiful home was sitting in a state filled with people who fought against equity, who denied the existence of simple obvious truths, who did not respect science or those who study it.

Our beautiful home was sitting in a neighborhood of nice people who are polite but are so content to stay in their bubbles that they would only keep you and your kids at arms length.

Our beautiful home was sitting in a school district that was led by people who said they were committed to doing right by Black and brown and LGBTQ and non-able bodied students but who were so caught up in their own white fragility that they couldn't help but get in their own way. So concerned with how one population of parents felt, they continued to ignore the pain of so many students.

Our beautiful home was in a flawed state. The flawed state was in a toxic country.

Our beautiful home was sitting in a country filled with so many hateful people brainwashed from years of dehumanization of minorities and the caste system that we had to vet any parents who wanted to make playdates with our kids because we understand how important it is to keep our kids psychologically as well as physically protected.

It became very clear as I spoke, and protested and petitioned and educated that my state was no different than any other state.

It became clear that simply changing districts or states would not suffice.

We needed to leave the country.

Randy and I are not people prone to flights of fancy or reckless spontaneity. None of our decisions have been without deep thought, heart and deliberation.

The realization that this country would not be the healthiest place for us or our children came over 5 years ago. The decision to finally move more recent.

It takes a certain level of clarity and courage to identify when something is not right and to leave it.

I debate whether to skim over all of the many reasons why we have decided to move, or let you imagine for yourselves. Frankly, it is exhausting listing all of them. I am understandably asked "why?" every time I have shared my decision with someone. Maybe if I take the time to spell it out on my blog, I could just refer to that and save myself the breath.

To Be Continued........