SOLD

I love Pilates. Before the pandemic, I did at least 4 one hour sessions a week, most at 5am before going to work. During the pandemic, I stopped going to the studio, then eventually was able to arrange some masked private sessions with one of my favorite instructors, then when she was no longer available, I kept exercising at home, using workouts from BeachBody.

I have been enjoying two very different workout series, one of which is a Barre Blend workout that incorporates Barre with Pilates. Anyway, each day, the instructor randomly selects an affirmation card with which to focus on during the workout. The day after I landed the job in Auckland, the workout I was on came with a card that made me think she was spying on me. This morning, the day after getting under contract for the sale of my house, I felt like once again the universe was speaking to me.

Today's card was:

I am Free

I release my attachments and liberate my spirit

This is the first home I have purchased and the first I have sold, and let me tell you, I really hated both processes, especially since we bought the house as a Short Sale.

The range of emotions from attachment to the house where my children grew up, the only home my youngest knows since we moved in when he was barely a month old, to excitement, to trepidation, to worry, to relief has left me reeling.

Learning the process of what is truly a comparable for your home, and realizing that once again there is a system that makes no sense and has no rhyme or reason has been uncomfortable.

Keeping the house clean and showing ready with three kids, leaving the house for showings, has been tedious and frankly exhausting. I am so proud of how well my kids have cooperated with it all.

Last night and this morning, I didn't really know how to feel. It is difficult to imagine another family in "my house", enjoying all the things that I love about my home. The buyer we went with not only had the highest bid, but wrote us a nice letter about how much they've fallen in love with our house. I know that they will be happy in it. What I need to do is detach.

Intellectually, I know that this whole process of selling belongings and moving is simply an exercise in detachment. An exercise in releasing my attachments with anything that is holding me back from the freedom I seek to explore the world and find the place where me and my family can find peace and true belonging.

Turning on my workout this morning to the next in the cue and hearing the instructor ask what are some things we are freeing ourselves from was spooky to say the least.

Another step taken, another milestone passed, Another hurdle conquered. The countdown truly begins.