Home Sweet Home

I am the oldest of 5. My youngest sister, 10 years my junior, graduated from nursing school in April after 3 years of intensive study. She already had a Bachelor's Degree which she earned years ago, and now she has another one, this time a Bachelor's in Nursing, graduating Magna Cum Laude. Months ago, when she announced the date for the graduation ceremony, I mused about how nice it would be if I were able to attend. This thought kept nagging at me and eventually, about a month prior to the date, I booked a ticket and decided to surprise the entire family. I conspired with her fiancé to show up in Arizona, for the first time since leaving almost 3 years ago. It would be a short trip, but I knew that it would mean a lot to my sister, my family and to me. My brother was able to drive in from California but my sister who lives in Florida was not able to attend. I know that she was shocked to hear that I was in the States and even sadder to have missed being there, but we are always happy when at least the majority of the 5 of us could get together in one spot at one time. Such is life.

Over the years, I have seen people move to New Zealand and in short order, either make multiple expensive trips back to the US, or move back altogether. I have often asked myself and Randy if something was wrong with me, with us, that we would not feel any tugs to go back to the States for a visit, much less to live. I have wished that I could take the kids to the Caribbean, that is where my heart has felt a tug, but not to the US.

The close communication that I have been able to have with my siblings and parents while I've been here, have helped us to feel connected despite the distance. I am eager for my family to come visit so I can show them the beauty first hand that they have only been able to see on video so far. Hearing of my sister's graduation was the first time I felt compelled to get on a plane headed to that direction since I'd left.

Four of the 5 Mills siblings

together. Proud of our youngest sister.

My baby sister. Ten years my junior. Sweet and caring and thoughtful and helpful. Smart and beautiful and kind. Resilient and strong and full of life. She keeps me young, helps keep my wardrobe refreshed, helps me with my make up game (which is still minimal at best) and advises me on all things photography and social media.

I had such limited time in Arizona, so I didn't announce my trip to most of my friends or extended family.

One of my Aunts. She has always been a strong source of love and support for me my entire life and has continued to be so after I left the US.

About 20 years ago I first served on a medical mission to Ensenada, Mexico. I went a a Spanish interpreter. It would be my first of many missions (to Mexico and Honduras), first as interpreter, then as doctor. I met so many wonderful kind, smart, humble, fun and funny people on these missions who all had a heart for service and who were refreshingly not performative or self-righteous.

Richard and Susan were two of these wonderful people. Dick served as pharmacist on the missions and his wife Susan headed the ophthalmology department, fitting hundreds of men, women and children with glasses in the short week. They served for many years. I watched some of their children join the team and saw as they grew. They were there when I eventually brought Micah, my eldest, to serve with us as well. These two have always had a special spot in my heart. Even when years would pass between seeing them I always felt their love and support.

Before I left the US, they came to the party to see us off and since I've been here, Dick would send me emails. Thanks to social media both he and Susan were able to still stay in the loop in our lives.

My trip was only a few days long, and packed with errands and as much family time as I could fit, but I felt like I couldn't be in Arizona and not check in on these two.

I have learned that maintaining relationships require intentionality and that those who stay connected regardless of physical distance should be cherished. I have stayed in close contact with a handful of members of the mission team and those relationships mean a lot to me. As a Black woman in America, any time I could find kindred spirits who do not require that I defend my own humanity, I feel like I've won.

Being back in the US reminded me of why I left, and made me realize that I do truly consider New Zealand to be my home. There were no moments while there where I questioned my decision to leave. It was so nice to give lots of kisses instead of blowing kisses over video, but the trip showed me how good a job my family has done over the last 3 years at cultivating connection despite distance. We felt as though I had been gone for a long time but I hadn't been gone at all at the same time. I felt grateful for safe travels, despite delays in getting home.

Randy and the kids greeted me with lots of love as usual.

I even felt happy to be back at work. I get to practice medicine free from political gaslighting. I get to provide healthcare with evidenced based medicine leading the way instead of corrupt insurance companies calling the shots. Being in the US for a few days gave me much to ponder on my long flight home, and was the unexpected impetus for me to realize that

New Zealand is my Home Sweet Home