Wise Words

”If the cost is your peace of mind, then it is too expensive”

Anonymous

I understand that not everyone who will read my blog will have known me personally. I know that for those who know me and who have encouraged me as I found my activist voice, my decision to leave the United States was a hard pill to swallow. They were happy for me, but sad that I am leaving and sad that I felt that I had to leave. I am grateful that I never had to explain my reasons to my fellow warriors in the trenches, for they see more up close than most, the forces that are pushing me away from the United States.

I want to go where my family and I are truly valued. Not by a handful of people, but by a system that reflects an acknowledgement of our right to live in happiness and thrive.

My parents sacrificed so much to bring 5 children thousands of miles away from their homeland. They sought the peace of mind that they believed they would get here. I cannot speak for them. I know that they have expressed no regrets, but they do acknowledge that while they were prepared to work hard, and work hard they did, they did not foresee some of the collatoral damages we all had to withstand in order to succeed.

Each of us have to define success. I only have one life and one lifetime. After decades of focus, study and delayed gratification, I want my life to be more quality than quantity. I don't want to live a life of futile effort. I want to do good and make the world a better place but not at the cost of my or my family’s sanity or personal well being.

Representative John Lewis died of cancer. He marched in the streets till the very end. He passed away fighting for the same things that he fought for over 50 years ago when he had his head bashed in by police during peaceful protest. He was a great man that this country did not deserve. Mr. Lewis believed that the soul of this country could be fixed with the perseverance of good people. He saw this country worth the sacrifice of his youth, strength, effort, voice, and his health. I respect him and all those who came before him and marched alongside him. I can make certain decisions for my life now that I wouldn’t have been able to make if it weren’t for him and those like him. Even with all his optimism though, Mr. Lewis at one point said “The scars and stains of racism are still deeply embedded in the American society”.

It has been well studied and documented that the psychological stressors that bombard Black people in this country has a physiologic effect that is literally causing us to have certain diseases and die earlier than our white counterparts as well as compared to our Black counterparts in the Caribbean and sub Saharan Africa. Social inequity in general has a harmful effect on the deepest chromosomal levels, regardless of the person’s race.

The more federal, state and local leaders I have spoken to and plead with; the more deep insight and study of the inner workings of this country I have gained, the more I have been compelled to conclude that the majority of the people in this country, and definitely the majority of people in positions of power all over this land are either not interested in true equity or are not willing to actually get down to the hard work of dismantling systems that are literally killing people.

I have come to the same conclusion as John Lewis did. I do not want to look back on my life in 50 years and know that while I worked hard and helped others, I did that at the expense of something as important as peace of mind.