Wise Words

“Problems arise in that one has to find a balance between what people need from you and what you need for yourself.”- Jessye Norman

Sooo many directions one could go with this quote. Soooooo many. I read this quote to Randy and asked him what I could expound on with this and he told me about myself (as he often very accurately does) and went down a path that I wasn't thinking of going.

I am going to leave this one up to you all for your own application to your lives. One thing that Randy said that I will share here is that, the famous quote by John F Kennedy that says: "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country", while with its merit, is somewhat of a lie. It is not the mentality that most of the wealthiest 1% have, but it is what the wealthy love to tell the poor.

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The United States is a very individualistic country, where sacrificing for your fellow man is not valued as much as other parts of the world. The one time we see that sentiment emphasized though, is when we are asking those who already do most of the dirty work, the heavy lifting, to do more. How many of us are in jobs where we feel like a cog in the wheel? Where we are treated like an orange that is being squeezed for all of its essence and once shriveled and expired, discarded and easily replaced. With that view of the worker, there is no incentive for employers to strive for us to actually feel valued in our jobs or happy to be there.

In our families, often we are villainized if and when we choose to make a change that prioritizes our happiness over that of someone else but we are not always checked in on and supported when we choose to delay our own fulfillment for that of the other.

How do we balance the vital acts of selflessness with making sure that our cup is being filled at least as quickly as it is being poured out onto others?

How do we identify when giving of our time and expertise for free has crossed the line into being used and taken advantage of?

As I've said in one of my earliest posts, I found that the majority of people who expressed a regret that I was planning to leave the United States, framed their disappointment around what they perceived I was no longer going to be able to do for the vulnerable here; yet none ventured to tell me what specifically from this country (apart from of course leaving my beloved family) I would be missing out on that I couldn't get somewhere else.